Chapter+Two+-+Why+I+Write

Crafting a Life
In //Crafting a Life in Essay, Story, Poem//, Donald Murray insists, "I began to write long before I could read, even before I could print my name - even before I was born" (1). How true these words are for my own experiences as a writer. I cannot remember a time in my life when I did not have books, paper, and pencil at my fingertips. Even before I could sound out letters and string these letters into words, I remember holding hardcover books in my hands. Fingers tracing the printed text and fanciful illustrations, I knew these pages held secret worlds. I never tired hearing of these worlds as my parents read aloud the words I did not yet know. And before I could write, I was already telling my own stories. To my dolls, my younger sister, to our dog, and my Lego figures, I was constructing stories about people I knew, both real and imagined. As soon as I could grip a pencil and scribble down sentences, writing down these stories was simple; for years I had been crafting them in my mind. Even now I continue to write, and with two children of my own, I tell more stories than my pencil can capture on to the page. Similar to Murray, I am "..eager to get to the desk where I craft my life," knowing that living is only half of an experience or a memory; it is the act of writing that makes the life fully real (2).

Taking Account: Why I Write
Donald Murray, in his introduction to //Crafting a Life//, believes he should "take account" and name the reasons why he writes. Following Murray's lead, I offer my own reasons for writing (2).

//I Write to Make a Self//
"When I write, I create myself, and that created self, through writing, may affect the world...When we write we become visible, we are players in the game of life. We - our writings - have to be dealt with" (Murray 2). Similar to Murray, I am "..eager to get to the desk where I craft my life," knowing that living is only half of an experience or a memory; it is the act of writing that makes my life fully real (2).

// I Write to Be Illuminated //
One of my favorite activities as a writer is to revisit the same memory over and over again, especially after months or years have passed, and write a "new version" of the remembered experience. This activity is interesting to me because I always learn more about myself by examining my memory. It amazes me how the basic sentiment behind a memory can remain the same over time and space; for example, my memories of my wedding always include the sound of the church's grand piano, a sense of giddiness in my stomach, and a wind so strong my veil tangled in my hair. However, small details of this event blur and change over time. Did my bouquet smell of roses or freesia? Did my father's lips brush my cheek, or did his palm caress my cheek? In each retelling of this memory, I reconstruct the story. Which details I choose to remember, alter, or forget reveal something about the story I tell. These details reveal something about me. I rediscover myself in my writing; I recreate myself through story.

//I Write to Create a New Self//
While some poems and essays I write are created to better understand the truth of an actual experience, others are written to create a life outside the one I have lived. Murray claims, "When writing we do not leave ourselves but extend ourselves" (4). This makes me think of a series of poems I composed when my sons were infants. I was so eager to communicate with them, but they did not yet understand the words I spoke aloud. So, I wrote poems, creating in them a place where mother and infant speak the same language.

//I Write to Make Meaning, to Illuminate Others//
It is a mysterious (dare I say magical) process when one puts words down on paper. For me, ideas not only become more clear, but tangible. I love how words committed to paper create an artifact. An object that cannot be ignored. Whether it is a research article, a lesson plan, a shopping list, an email message, a journal entry, [|a blog], or a scrapbook spread, a page of text creates meaning. It physically verifies that I, the writer, am a maker of meaning.

//I Write to Be a Better Writer//
Like any craft, writing well takes practice. Murry admits, "I find joy in learning my craft and comfort now that I am old enough to know I will never stop learning to write" (5). I write terrible first drafts, especially first drafts of poems. Experience has shown me not to get discouraged with a terrible draft and not to feel satisfied with even a third or fourth draft. I do not improve in my craft by ignoring my writing or falsely praising it. I only get better by trying to get better; I just try to learn a little more each day and each draft.

//I Write to Write//
Some people paint, others sing, some garden or do yoga or run a marathon. I write. Not always because I want to or because I enjoy sitting down with an empty page. Writing is the only way I know how to explore my mind, recreate memories, and tell the story of my life. Writing offers me power; words allow me to make meaning. There is no feeling more satisfying than discovering that well placed word, perfect in rhythm and sound.